Worried your spouse may be on the road to a drinking problem? Noticed how little influence your words seem to have on his/her drinking behaviors?
Well, the answer may be easier than you think, but it will require that you make some changes as well!
Enabling is a pretty tricky thing. Loved ones are convinced away from doing the sorts of things that feel natural - helping - and convinced that tough love is the only kind of love that is going to work. And it's all true, enabling doesn't help us get better, but when we are finally ready to get some treatment, helping us get that treatment is not enabling it is just helping. It feels right because it is right.
You never need to let a loved one hit rock bottom before intervening - in fact, if you do wait that long, the odds of successful treatment are lower
Addiction hijacks the mind, and then confirmation bias boots free will right out the door.
It can drive a family crazy trying to understand "why they won't stop...why they can't see what they're doing to themselves..." when surely things like losing a job or a wife are pretty clear indicators of a problem.
Understand confirmation bias and get a sneaky look inside an alcoholic mind - and understand why they never seem to see the problem.
We are told, berated even, to stop our enabling behaviors when living and dealing with a still using alcoholic or drug addict. It's hard to do, but it all makes sense, and we for the most part can accept the need for it. Some of us even do it - some of us do too much.
Too many grandparents are placed into a role of primary caregiver, their grandchildren, sadly, drug orphans. Many more watch with concern as their grown kids put drinking or drugging above parenting, and the grandchildren suffer.
Here's what The National Association for Children of Alcoholics says grandparents should do when their grandchildren are at risk.
While I'm sure that many take to the booze or the drugs as a coping mechanism in reaction to horrible traumas of childhood...I gotta wonder if there aren't more of us that are just like me. People that just really really liked to get high and get drunk.